I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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