all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Less talking, more tequila
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
