so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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