I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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