Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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