i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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