All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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