please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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