I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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