My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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