I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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