sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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