I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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