i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My penis needs a shock collar
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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