he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Randomize
