did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
