Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Come see our sink grown plant.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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