Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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