these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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