We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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