so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Farmville is her only friend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
