how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize