i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
