Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
