I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
