We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
