Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
