i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
