So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
