I don't think brook has ever known best
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
