; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
