Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
