You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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