Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Please don't give away my fajitas
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
