Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
