it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
