M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize