I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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