i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
