Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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