Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
