if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can text with my tongue
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize