So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
