I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
