i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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