if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
