i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
