Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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