Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
