Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize