and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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