Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
