I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
