I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
