So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
