I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
