i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
