well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
